I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
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i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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