stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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