this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
