I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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