How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
