just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
