I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
