You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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