"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
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