Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
