im drinking this country out of the recession.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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