sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
