So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
