Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
