I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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