Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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