i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
