Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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