What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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