dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
