Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
