Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
