I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
