isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
