i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize