i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
