My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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