home. puking in laundry basket.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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