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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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