That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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