at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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