There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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