i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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