Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
