hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
