he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
