who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
