So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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