In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Having a random hookup so left but love u
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
