She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
