I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I did not marry a roomba.
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