He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
