actually, I'm a sock model
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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