Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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