I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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