Pants 0. Shit 1.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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