The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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