Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
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You did not just play the dead husband card again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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