dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
