So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
