We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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