He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
