Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
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my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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