Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
nutella sex= disaster
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
