Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
