Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
