Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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