ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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