i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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