one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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