just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
