Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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