After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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