Non-Jews are for practice
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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