Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
