I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
