Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize