We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
