He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
