Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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